Greatest....Parade....Ever...

Thursday night, Danessa and I went to see a Christmas Parade in Vinton, VA, which is a neighboring city to Roanoke. As we were waiting in the cold for this parade to start, particularly to see one of Danessa's co-workers who is a Flag Corp instructor, we were sitting on the ground talking. At some point, a group of teenagers walks by and almost trips on Danessa, commenting as they leave that they didn't see her. That should have been our first sign. The parade gets under way with a marching band and it was pretty sweet. Then I realized that people were handing out candy! Jack pot!

Oh, wait, that's a child's size toothbrush. Opposite of candy. Sigh.

The parade continues and I see actual candy be thrown. So I get all pumped up for some good and free candy canes. Denied again.

We are standing next to a dad with a young girl...and she is getting her weight in freaking candy that will be, more than likely, eaten by her dad and not her. What the heck. This is how the rest of the parade continues. Mountains of candy to this girl, looks at me, mounds of candy to the people to our right. Tears frozen to Corey's face.

As we continue to stand there, I tell Danessa how much this sucks and that it is discrimination based on age. She says she's sorry and asks if buying some candy after we leave would help. I fold my arms in front of my chest, stick out my lower lip, lower my eyebrows, and say no. Bought candy is not the same as candy received from a parade. And then I have an idea...

We get some of the candy we have at the house and I give it to Danessa. She jumps in the car and circles the blocks a couple dozen times and throws candy to me, yelling Merry Christmas!, while I stand in front of our house. Brilliant!

As she drives, I call over to my neighbor..."come over here quick, there's a parade and they are giving out candy!"...and then him seeing our car creep by with candy flying out of the window (which would probably only be a small amount since Danessa would be laughing, making her aim crappy whilst driving). Her aim would get worse and worse because I would recruit more and more people each time she passed. It would start of with just me and then go to two. After that 5, then 10 and so on. Of course, I would be jumping up and down with my arms in the air too.

I will also use Simon as a prop to ensure boat loads of candy as well. I have no shame.

Well, it's about time for Nessa to make her trip around the block. Candy time!!!

Is that a joke? Really?

A couple of weeks ago I was reading the Sunday paper...and by Sunday paper, I mean the comics...and came across a joke section on the back page that goes along with a kids section that also provides various puzzles, contests, and tips for drawing stuff. I was reading through the jokes and came across this one and was shocked...

Q: What do diets and promises have in common?
A: They both get broken.

What? That writer must have had a bad experience during that week and has lived a jaded life of disappointment from themselves (diet) and others (promises). Unbelievable...yet believable.

So next time you are playing with a kid and want them to laugh...tell them this great joke!